How Conscious Parenting Can Help You Be A Better Leader With Rachel Duffy
Jan 27, 2022
As entrepreneurs and business owners, you may be listening to this podcast mainly for industry insights. However, how you show up in your family life can also significantly impact your leadership. Even if you're not a parent, understanding conscious parenting and relationship dynamics can help you understand how relationships are built or eroded.
In this episode, conscious parenting coach Rachel Duffy joins us to discuss the benefits of conscious parenting and how we can create a more harmonious family life. She shares the intersections of parenting and entrepreneurship and how we can become better leaders by becoming better parents. She also reminds us to stop looking for a work-life balance and instead create better boundaries.
If you want to know more about how conscious parenting and running a business are similar, this episode is for you.
Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
- Discover how becoming a better parent through conscious parenting can help you become a better leader and entrepreneur.
- Learn how to identify the root causes of problems in business and family life and how this knowledge can help you create lasting change!
- Understand how to create better boundaries and find the ideal "work-life balance." Here's the secret: there's no such thing as balance.
Resources On Conscious Parenting
Why Rachel Left Law and Started Conscious Parenting
- Rachel was the first in her family to become a lawyer and earn a master’s degree.
- She became a divorce attorney because she has always been interested in exploring family dynamics and helping families.
- However, she felt that her job wasn’t helping families the way that she wanted to. She then took a break, remarried, and became a parent.
Rachel shares being lost with parenting and struggling to raise her children. This experience led her to conscious parenting, where she determined to be certified herself.
What is Conscious Parenting?
Rachel: "Conscious parenting is about becoming more aware of why things are the way they are in our families, specifically when it comes to getting triggered or any kind of struggle we have with our children."
Conscious parenting is about learning the root causes of parents’ and children’s behaviors.
- We can better address and solve problems when we identify root causes.
How Conscious Parenting and Entrepreneurship are Related
- Rachel shares that around 30-35% of her clientele are not parents. However, the work involved can help anyone become more grounded.
Conscious parenting is not only for parents — it can help anyone. We all belong to families and can benefit from learning about family and parent-children dynamics.
- Businesses and children do not come with an instruction manual.
Both entrepreneurship and conscious parenting are platforms for great self-development and growth.
- They also require building deep and meaningful relationships, one with clients and team while the other is with children.
Team Building and Raising Children
- Team building is similar to raising children. Many struggles can be linked to disconnection and discord in relationships.
- We cannot solve these problems unless we understand and tackle the root causes.
- We waste time and energy when we try to solve problems without understanding the root cause. We end up chasing the wrong conflicts and solutions.
How Threats Affect People and Relationships
- Rachel shares that children and employees may seem different at first since there's an option to fire the latter, but this isn't the case.
- Punishing our children and firing employees have the same consequences as shutting down a connection.
- While threats can help people comply in that moment, making threats will create disconnect and discord.
- No matter the setting, building relationships requires you to learn how relationships are built or eroded.
Rachel: “If you want to build a lasting relationship with another human being, you have to understand human psychology at a basic level.”
How to Help Employees
- Rachel recommends understanding ourselves first when children or employees are not doing what we’d like them to do.
- We also need to understand why the employee is lacking motivation.
- Children may not have the emotional development to have deep conversations about the root cause of their problems.
- As business owners, have conversations with your employees to find out how to help them.
Rachel: “‘How can I support you? I want to be a catalyst for your success. Let's work on this together.’ That is how I would approach it.”
How to Support Children
- In the heat of the moment, learn to regulate yourself and your children.
- People's nervous systems don't fully develop until their mid-20s. Before then, children rely on their caretakers to regulate their emotions. Remember that emotions are contagious.
- When children are dysregulated, they need to know that their parents still love and accept them even though they have made mistakes.
- Remember these questions that your children will be thinking about: Do I matter? Do you see me? Am I enough?
- As parents, we need to be patient and help our children learn skills for impulse and emotional control.
Rachel: “Children borrow the emotional state of their caregiver. So if I am highly dysregulated and triggered because my kid can't get their shoes on, that is going to further dysregulate my child.”
How Entrepreneurship and Parenting Differ
- When you give the effort to try to solve problems but find that an employee is ultimately a bad fit, learn to let them go with love.
- Learn to build patience with your children and trust that they will eventually acquire the skills they need.
Should We Seek a Work-Life Balance?
- Reject the idea of a work-life balance. You are the same person wherever you are.
- Do the work and solve root problems so you can free up time, both in your business and family life.
- Effective communication can produce favorable results.
Rachel: “Reject the idea that there is a balance. You are the same human being at work and at home. There is no daddy hat versus entrepreneur hat. You're the same person.”
How to Set Boundaries
- Remember that boundaries are about you. You cannot control other people.
- Know who you are and learn about your weaknesses.
- People who struggle with setting boundaries have not had practice with them, nor had good models for them while growing up.
- Some people may also find it difficult when they have an underlying belief that self-care is selfish.
- Stay true to your integrity and stick to the things you say.
Rachel: "Everything is in my own hands. I create the business the way I want it to run. I create my family life the way I want it to be. It is in my hands because I set the boundaries for myself."
Moshe: "We have some people in our lives that have a very big influence on our decision-making abilities. You have to be true to yourself."
Rachel: "The chances of us creating deep, meaningful connections within our teams or within our families without understanding the root cause of our behavior and our children's behavior is practically zero."
- When uncovering the root causes of behaviors, learn to ask, 'what is the core pain?'
- Don't jump to threats immediately. First, work on understanding people's problems.
- Learn to discern who is a good fit for your business.
About Conscious Parenting Coach Rachel
Rachel Duffy is a parenting mentor, certified conscious parenting coach, and former family lawyer. She is the founder of Sagacity Lab LLC, and she works with individuals, couples, and parents to stop getting triggered and highly reactive so they can have deeper connections with their families. With her tried and tested methodology, Rachel has helped parents create lasting change to become mentors to their children and family leaders who are compassionate and steadfast.
Want to learn more about conscious parenting? Check out Sagacity Lab.
You can also connect with Rachel on LinkedIn and Instagram.
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